Another example of the world's REAL favorite sport - Yankee-baiting.  Oh well,
too bad we Capitalists have made you bitter little Socialists jealous by
WINNING the Cold War.  Now let's talk sports.  Soccer is much like Marxism:
boring and anarchic.  Football is a game that Americans naturally relate to:
It requires superior physical and mental skill to overwhelm your opponent.
Much like the U.S. does to weenie little countries on a regular basis.

Let us futher contrast football and soccer:

Football: Popular in America because it is the most demanding sport in the
          world, and requires the most skill to play.
Soccer:   Popular in countries where people are too uncoordinated to use
          more than one set of limbs at a time.

Football: Played by men who must wear many pieces of expensive equipment
          just to lessen the chance of serious injury.
Soccer:   Played in Third World countries like Holland, where 22 people
          together can save their wages for a month, buy a ball and play.

Football: Players must learn playbooks bigger than the whole Netherlands
          telephone directory.
Soccer:   List of plays as follows... Run, kick ball, kick other players, get
          hit in head by either ball or other players.  Perfect for those with
          inferior intellects.

Football: An all-American game, taking the heritage of soccer and rugby
	  and improving on it to make a more perfect game.  That's the
	  American way.
Soccer:   Popular in countries like Holland, that have no great culture or
          great invention, and are still trying to decide whether to imitate
          the French or the Germans.

Football: Americans drink Budweiser.  Brewed and shipped fresh, like they say
          in their commercials, and preserved with many chemicals, just to
          make sure.
Soccer:   Heineken... yuk.  Shipped in that famous green glass that ensures a
          skunky brew.

Football: All the players play as hard as they can until the whistle blows.
          They stop briefly, plan the next attack, and come back for more.
Soccer:   2 or 3 players run while the rest stand around and watch the clock,
          or maybe read a book at midfield.

Football: Rowdy drunk fans spill beer on you.
Soccer:   Rowdy drunk insanely nationalistic fans kill you.

Football: My favorite team, the Bills, are 3-time losers.
Soccer:   Everybody is a loser.

>Do you actually know what Holland means?
   umm... the Land of Hol?
>Where it lies?
   Underwater.
>That we're not German?
   You certainly do kiss their butts though, or else they roll tanks over you
   just to get at the French.

To sum:

Football, the aristocratic game of rich capitalist countries like the U.S.
Soccer, sport of poor underdeveloped nations where people cannot afford to
  play football.

Hey, if you love soccer, call us up... we'll come to your country, exploit
it, keep you poor, and you can have all the soccer you can handle while we
spend more than you make in a year on NFL Season Tickets!