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From: (Badwater Bill)
Newsgroups: rec.aviation.homebuilt
Subject: Virtual Love Making in an Airplane (long and instructional)
Date: Thu, 11 Jun 1998 17:37:00 GMT

I hope what I'm going to say here doesn't offend anyone since I'm so
sensitive of other peoples feelings.

The helicopter school I'm training in is made up of young studs.
They're all the macho-right-stuff guys who strut around and act like
they eat nails for lunch.  They're all kids in their late 20's or
early thirties and they fly real well, I mean REAL well.  So, they are
sort of entitled to a bit of strutting in my opinion.

Well, being the young horny men they are, all they do is hire good
looking women as secretaries and tour coordinators for the 135 portion
of the operation.  I've owned a few businesses in my day,  one of
which was a mortgage company and the rule I follow is to only hire
women who are over 50.  They have to look tough, be fat and talk in a
deep voice.  This is essential criteria for any secretary.  My reasons
for this are obvious.  I want them to work, not bull shit with all of
the contractors who come in to get checks etc.  If I had a good
looking young woman as the receptionist every horn-dog who came
through the door would waste her time.  Well, these helicopter guys
haven't learned that lesson yet.  They hired an absolutely beautiful
Hawaiian girl 25 years old to be the point contact for their
operation.  I asked James (one of the owners), "Man that girl is
beautiful.  Why did you hire here?" His reply, "We want only the best
looking women to serve our customers.  You deserve only the best!"   I
said, " Man, you're making a big mistake here.  You never want to hire
a woman that pretty.  You'll be sorry.  Not only will she be the
center of attention for everyone who walks through that door, you
instructors will be panting over her all the time too."

Well, you know who else pants over her too, and that's me.  Can't help
it.  What's so cool is what happened yesterday.  She wanted to go for
a ride in the RV-6.  I bolted her in there with a chute on, my Bose
Headsets on her head (which I never let anyone else wear--only the best
for her of course).  I put on a CD of Top Gun so we could fly to music
and I put a sick sac in her lap.  Now keep in mind I'd almost puked
the two CFI's I gave rides to.  They had absolutely no stomach for any
of it and I fly pretty smooth too.  It's the g pressures that get
these guys.  Well, they'd been telling her about the RV-6 and what a
wild ride it is and so on.  So, she was spring loaded to get sick like
they did.

The first thing we did was climb to about 4000 AGL listening to the
Top Gun movie sound track.  I told her to take the stick, put her feet
on the pedals and explained to her how they worked.  She flew around a
bit then I said, "Lets do a wingover."  Then I explained to her that I
was going to gently pull the nose of the airplane way up and roll at
the same time until we were in a 90 degree turn then we'd gently nose
down and be pointing in the opposite direction.  She was on for it so
I did it, talking with her on the intercom the whole way.  When I got
everything back level I monitored her to see what she was feeling.
She had this big smile on her face and said, "Man that was fun, can we
do it again?"  I did it again and watched her this time while we just
listened to the music.  She mentioned the lightness in the seat at the
top and the heavy feeling she had on the pull up and recovery.  I
think it was the first time she'd ever felt g's in an airplane
although they were very mild.

So.  I'm thinking to myself this girl is okay.  She's having fun.
Then she asked me to pull some more g's on her and I said, "How many?"
"Oh, what about 4 or 5?"  I couldn't believe she said this so I said,
"Okay.  What I'll do is show you a high g turn like you would do if
you were a fighter pilot like the guys in this movie portrayed."  I
cranked her over to about 85 degrees and pulled the stick back until
the accelerometer read 5, did a 180 at that pressure and abruptly
rolled out.  "How about that?  Are you okay?"  "Sure!  This is the
most fun I've had in a long time.  What's next?"

Well, about this time I thought shit, nobody survives a 5 g turn on
their first flight and wants more!  This kid has the right stuff!

"How about a roll?"

"Sure.  Do I have to pull down on these straps more since well be
upside down?"

I said, "No, I'll keep you in your seat all the way around."  Then
bingo I rolled it to the left.  No big deal, the RV-6 rolls in about 2
seconds, maybe 3, then we were back in level flight again.

She said, "Wow!  I loved it.  Can we do it again?"  I'm thinking to
myself that the flight instructors back at the helipad would be
wanting to claw themselves out of the cockpit about now but this
little woman is eating it up.  Unbelievable surprise to me.  Anyway, I
rolled it a couple more times to the right then the left then made her
weightless for about 15 seconds.  Then we got down on the deck and
blasted around the mountains west of town for awhile.  All the time
she was giggling and laughing and thanking me for taking her up.  We
got under a big developing Cue and thermaled back up to about 5000
AGL.  The music was good, the flying was good.  I was ringing her like
a chime then she wanted to push the envelope some more and asked me to
loop it!  I did one of these high speed entries at 200 mph indicated,
pulled about 3.5 g's on the nose up then floated her over the top as
the little woman laughed and giggled and had the biggest smile in the
world on her face.  Coming down the backside she keyed up and said,
"This is the most fun I've ever had in my life!"

Well, I have to tell you that it was one of the most fun flights I too
have ever had.  I've never had a beautiful woman like that in my
airplane reacting that way.  I had a great time.  I had so much fun
watching her and making her happy in that thing.  When we got back on
the ground it was like I had just made love with her in a sort of
peculiar mental way that I've never experienced.  I was playing with
her the whole time.  I tickled her tummy in the negative stuff and
floated her, controlled the amount of blood in her head on the
positive stuff.  In a way I was caressing her mind and body without
direct touch in ways that made her excited, happy, laughing, giggling.
It was just like making love with someone for the first time who
really responds to you and we both had a blast.

I felt peaceful and happy the rest of the day.  I just don't know how
to log it!


Badwater Billy

From: (Badwater Bill)
Newsgroups: rec.aviation.homebuilt
Subject: Re: Virtual Love Making in an Airplane (long and instructional)
Date: Sat, 13 Jun 1998 01:24:13 GMT


Thank you Howard.  I'm honored and humbled by your comments.

To Bob:

	I wish I had made that one up in my head then I wouldn't be
going in there everyday and spending $200 bucks on a helichopter
lesson just to see Naomie!  No.  Sorry, that one was for real.  She
walked up to me this morning and asked me when we were going flying
again!  She told me she like the parts where I tickled her tummy!

I told O'ring about this last night on the phone.  He told me when we
had the Stearman about 30 years ago he had an experience similar to
this.  He wouldn't go into details.  He'll be here in Vegas tomorrow
and he promissed to tell me the story as we fly the RV-6 to Prescott
AZ tomorrow.  I can't wait.

This is an absolutely true story.  This really happened.  I'm going to
take her up again and I'll tell all of you 3000 people about it when
it happens.


>Careful Howard.This lewd behavior will have you at Pink Knee '89.
>      Would you believe it, if I told you BWB made every bit of that
>wonderful tale up in his head? He did say VIRTUAL,  ya know !
>No matter..........
>It's the thought that counts.
>Bob U.

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