Index Home About Blog
From: John De Armond
Subject: Re: City Ordinances - Living/Parking
Date: Sat, 04 Dec 1999 15:01:20 EST
Newsgroups: rec.outdoors.rv-travel

> If buying dinner or otherwise being nice to the neighbor who turned you
> in doesn't work -
> consider having a noisy nooner in it every day BUT DON'T FALL ASLEEP.
> After the code enforcement inspector is called out three days in a row
> to find no violation, he/she will tell the busybody neighbor to quit
> calling.

I had a similar problem with a neighbor when I lived in Cobb County
(atlanta area) georgia.  I owned the farm house of a farm that had
been subdivided.  I had a 2 acre front yard and no back yard.  I
ended up with a yuppy-scum neighbor who built a half million house
in a 100k neighborhood and then thought she'd make the neighborhood
conform to her wishes.  She called the zoning nazi on me because I
parked my 4 hotrods on the grass in my wooded front yard.  I checked
the law and learned a few things.

I caught her standing on the street talking to other neighbors a bit
later.  I asked her if she was the snitch (I already knew the
answer).  She lied, of course.  Then I told her what I'd learned. 
The first thing I'd learned was that my house's agricultural zoning
was granfathered.  I commented that I'd always wanted a pot-bellied
pig or two and that I might just fence in a half acre near the
street and get a breeding pair.  I then commented that the law only
required that I not park cars on the grass but didn't say anything
about mud. I observed that I could remedy that problem with a shot
of Roundup applied to where I wanted to park my cars (opposite her
driveway entrance).  Finally I learned that the law only required
that the cars not be visible from the street (to allow for
side-entrance carports) and that my remedy was going to be to erect
an 8 ft tall fence across the street side of my property made of
particle board painted my favorite colors, red and purple.  I had
previously dug a hole (actually for a new mailbox) and had a couple
of fence posts laying on the ground just to add to the effect.

By the time I got through with that, the yuppy-scum was gasping for
air. I let her gasp like a guppy for a few minutes and then
commented that, being the lazy type that I am, if I didn't hear
anything more from the zoning nazis, I'd probably just take the easy
way out and not do anything at all.  I lived there 6 more years and
never again heard a peep from 'em.  Guess it finally dawned on them
that their property line stopped where mine began. Or maybe she just
didn't like pigs.

Point being, think of creative ways of handling this problem. 
There's a lot of room for mayhem even with the most restrictive
zoning law.  Not only that, the complainer also probably has some
sort of violation that a suitably motivated zoning nazi could sink
his teeth into.  Something like dumping some used motor oil on the
ground at the back of her property and then calling the
environmental police is quite effective and expensive.

I'm sure these suggestions will get some peoples' panties in a wad. 
So many cowards in this world.  Vent if you like but be aware that
trying to "revise" my philosophy is somewhat akin to trying to teach
a pig to sing - It invariably fails and it annoys the pig.  If more
people handled disputes directly rather than running to the state,
this would be a lot nicer world to live in.  Ditto if most people
simply minded their own business.


From: John De Armond
Subject: Re: City Ordinances - Living/Parking
Date: Sun, 05 Dec 1999 00:05:42 EST
Newsgroups: rec.outdoors.rv-travel

Cheyenne wrote:
> Neon John <> wrote in message
> > ended up with a yuppy-scum neighbor who built a half million house
> > in a ...
> Are you one of those types who dislike people just because they are wealthy?
> Or are you just pig-headed about "revising" your philosophy (like the pig
> who couldn't sing)?  Remember, most people were not born wealthy---like the
> brokerage-firm spokesman on TV says, "They earned it".

Actually I could have bought them out several times over, having
made a comfortable nestegg in the nuclear engineering and software
development businesses.  It's just that mine was big enough that I
didn't have to build a huge house to try and prove whose was
biggest.  Nor did I need to live way beyond my means, as they were,
in order to try and impress someone.

I did get the last laugh, however. She was an Eastern Airlines
stewardess and he was an Eastern ground supervisor of some sorts. 
The fire sale almost brought a tear to my eye.  Almost.

Actually I could have cared less about their house.  What I took
great exception to was them trying to tell me what to do with my
property.  Had they wanted to control what went on at my address in
an ethically sound manner, they could have simply bought my place -
if they could.  The problem is there are so many people out there
who have NOT made it - you sound like one - who want to wield power
as if they had.  Instead of working harder and/or smarter in order
to achieve a position in society, they go running to the state in
order to get their way.  Who was it, John Locke,  who said that
Americans are not smart enough to preserve the freedoms they'd been
entrusted with.  So true.

Might want to unwad those panties.  I heard it causes constipation.


Index Home About Blog