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From: B. Harris)
Subject: Re: A Serious Question of a Sexual Nature
Date: Mon, 01 Dec 1997

In <> (Mark Thorson) writes:
>In article <65qruj$>,
>Steven B. Harris <> wrote:
>> You can purchase a bottle of Doc Harris' seminal vesicle smooth muscle
>>toner and protastic fluid production enhancer for only $69.95. They look
>>quite a lot like rabbit pellets, and they require the services of a
>>really expensive hooker for maximum effect, but I think you'll be
>>impressed. Address posted separately.
>>                                        Harris Novelties
>>                                        Salt Lake City
>Ah!  So THAT'S why Dr. Harris is located in Salt Lake.
>Gotta go where the market is!

   No, this is just a good place to buy rabbit pellets, eh, I mean,
therapeutic caplets.   Here in Salt Lake City all the hookers are in
jail at great public expense, which the locals are glad to pay, due to
a fear that perhaps if the men here had some easy sexual outlet they
wouldn't be nearly so tractable come marital negociation time.  Thus,
think of Salt Lake hookers viewed as scabs in a really nasty labor
strike, and you'll get the idea.

   All the women who look superficially like hookers down there on
State Street don't really have the proper world-weary kicked-too-many
times hardened look, on close inspection.  Actually, they look more
like BYU coeds, all tarted up.  Which of course, they are.  Since they
are actually nice Mormon girls trying to work their way up in the SLC
police department, vice division.  Everybody's gotta have a career.

                            Reporting From The Kingdom of the Saints
                            Steve Harris, M.D.

From: B. Harris)
Newsgroups: talk.politics.mideast,soc.culture.iranian,sci.physics
Subject: Re: Lesbianism
Date: 26 Dec 1999 07:22:55 GMT

In <> writes:
>>About the the only place it breaks down is where sisters marry the same
>>man, and conserve genes much better than way (the lion-pride effect).
>>Sister polygamy was rather common on the Mormon frontier, I might add.
>>In fact, my own greatgrandfather had two wives at once (the only case in
>>my family I know of), and they were sisters.
>I didn't know this was allowed. Islam doesn't allow it.

    Islam doesn't allow sisters to marry a genetically unrelated man?
Why-ever not?  There are a lot of biblical places where it seems to be
rather expected that serve his wife's sisters, if they are childless.
The Jews didn't formally give up polygamy as a principle until about
A.D. 1000, and that seems mostly to try to apease their Christian

   So also with Mormonism and the US "Zion".  As to what's allowed in
Mormonism, polygamy has been formally abandoned there since 1890.  A
few splinter groups (not any of the main branches which derive from
Joseph Smith's original 1830 church) still practice polygamy.  All
illegally, strange to tell.  But nobody prosecutes, since the patent
silliness of the fact that a man can live openly with one wife and a
mistresses, or with two wives in rapid succession, but cannot live with
2 wives at once, and take open responsibility for them and their
children, would be apparent.  Who the devil cares?  Society's
responsiblity is to the children a man fathers, and polygamy does
nothing to undermine that.  If anything, the reverse is true.

  The orthodox Utah Mormons (LDS church) themselves, BTW, historically
the largest "Mormon" group ever to practice polygamy, only ordered new
marriages stopped in 1890.  Probably a few more took place after, just
by way of momentum.  And the orthodox LDS didn't dissolve any of the
old ones, which naturally went on for a good many years.  In substance
and Mormon thinking, if not legal thinking, at least.  To this day, the
LDS church doesn't like to talk about polygamy much, since they want
badly to be mainstream.  But they are forced to continue to admit it is
a true principle of their faith, though not one commanded by God just
now.  Trying to marry two women will get you kicked out of the orthodox
Mormon church these days even faster than having a wife and a mistress.
And while they will let you back in for the latter sin, if you repent,
my guess it that it would take quite a lot longer, if ever, for the
former.  As with all churches, in Mormonism there really is only one
True Sin: defiance of authority.  There is a certain sneakiness about
mistresses which continues to acknowledge the church's power.  Having
two wives is thumbing one's nose, bigtime.

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